on holiday

After 2 weeks I still don't know if this is the holiday or normal life. I woke in a panic last night and couldn't remember where we were. This was followed by a couple of hours up with our youngest who had a fever. She was bouncing by bedtime today & both seem to have settled into our third venue. The doc is off working and staying near Liverpool to be handy for clinics and the fancy kit at the Trop Shop. The girls miss him at bedtime but don't really seem to notice his absence.

We have an epic tour planned and are enjoying seeing lots of family and friends; it's hard not to imagine that people measure relationships in the quality or quantity of time. We are also trying to have some time doing normal stuff like going to the park and doing cutting and sticking.

strange

It’s very strange being “home”. I’m not sure any of us know where home is or which country is the norm. Being abroad still feels like an interim to normal life but this feels like a holiday. There are lots of things that are different, some are positive, some just weird. It’s lovely to be able to use tap water to brush our teeth and not have to sleep under nets, I love the clean public toilets with running water, soap and towels and the rubbish bins on the streets. But I find myself keeping a closer eye on the children when we’re out. There are some things I hadn’t realised that I’d missed, like the speed of the internet and organised activities for kids.

waiting

I am sat at the doc's desk waiting to go on my away day for the museum project. We were meant to leave at 8am but not surprisingly we won't be leaving on time, there are quite a bit of politics about this but here I am waiting. I'm not too surprised and the waiting doesn't annoy me the way it would have done 1 year ago!

I do still find it rude that the attitude here is that it's OK to be late "the sun is still shining" but I am much more relaxed about it and it's always easier to wait graciously when I'm not having to entertain children!! I would be happier if the coffee lady would come soon ... (a man has just this minute appeared with the coffee, there is nothing to complain about!).

HD

It’s hard not to worry about them. Our eldest seems to be particularly unsettled, she was ill a couple of weeks ago and I think that was a combination of tiredness and missing her friend. The last few weeks she has been having more afternoon naps than she would usually and is often ready to go to bed well before the youngest.

 

She has had a few disturbed nights sleep and again looks exhausted, but won’t necessarily have an afternoon sleep. Most of our friends have left Blantyre so it’s very quiet and a bit dull, and all the talk of going to England must be confusing when you’re only 3. I am sure if I wasn’t worrying about what all this travelling is doing to the kids I’d be worrying about something else …  

people

The doc has been having some staff issues this week. His registrar started work last week and yesterday asked for a rise and when the doc explained that there was limited funds she resigned and took a job in the district (government posts include a housing allowance which makes them more lucrative). It’s taken a year to get the reg appointed and now she has left! The same day he spotted one of our night guards working a full-time day job. When we discussed it he explained that he has always had a day job (as does one of our other guards) because he needs the two incomes to support the 8 people who depend on him. What would you do?

 

We know that the night guards often kip during their shift but by having two of them we hope that one will be awake; but I’m not sure that I can employ someone knowing that he’s not able to get a proper nights sleep. I also had a dilemma when my squash coach (who plays for the national team but earns a living coaching) asked for a loan so that he could pay this months rent. We pay for our lessons in advance so he already owes us quite a few lessons and I know that the situation will be the same next month, but how do I respond?

 

I have been deeply challenged by a book called “When Helping Hurts: How to alleviate poverty without hurting the poor and yourself” it talks about poverty in terms of relationships as well as creation and material possessions and gives a good perspective on aid to majority countries. I am now trying to apply some of the principles to dealing with the guys who work for us; they’re not poor (they all have jobs) but financially life is hard for them and at the end of the month I am fairly sure that none of them has any money left. The book encourages us to look at the long term view and reminds us not to be paternalistic in our attitude or giving…. Hhmm

no nannys

Regular readers will remember that I once said that we would never have a dog or a nanny. The dog arrived months ago and as I write rampaging around my garden are 3 nannies, our housekeeper (Dorcas) and 6 children!! I am embracing the benefits of life here and letting the kids get on with it. It still feels odd and I do find myself making tea for all the nannies!

 

I am actually borrowing a friend’s nanny for a day next week as I have a meeting in a museum 3 hours drive away so we are having a team night away.

cute

This our youngest taking part in her nursery end of term play!! She was the youngest participant and looked this serious the whole way through. Notes to those threatening me with cruelty: I didn’t even know what role she had before we saw the play.